Ain't Love Grand?
by missfxckingwhatever
Summary: Is love as simple as it seems? RandyOC
1. Chapter 1

I was dancing like the drunken fool that I am. In fact no, I like to think that my dancing was rather stylish. You know what it was the fucking bomb.

Okay I'm lying the first one was right- drunken fool.

How about this then; I was dancing (no need to say how) in a club. I'd taken a vacation with my girlfriends to L.A. Well not really a vacation per say; one of us, Laurie, had an audition to go to so we figured why not make a trip out of it. Hey we're young and female do almost anything to party. I like to think of us as living up to a stereotype. Go team!

So I was dancing with some guy I think he was called Alan or something, I'm not sure all I know is he bought me a drink and his friend called him Al, when I felt two hands on my waist, I clenched my fist and was ready to swing round and hit something but something stopped me. I knew that smell. You know what I mean when certain people have their smells and whenever you smell it you think of them? Well this was one of those moments. Whoever the fuck it was smelt a lot like Randy and sounded a hell of a lot like him too. "Mind if I cut in, man?" Al seemed to shake his head and high-tailed it out of there, but he bought me drinks, I was on the verge of pouting here, strange Randy man was going to get a piece of my mind in a minute. Then I had a thought I grabbed hold of the hands and pulled them out from my body exposing their lower arms. They had the same tattoos as…maybe it was…but it couldn't be. My beloved boyfriend was somewhere else; he knew I was going to be in L.A this weekend and if this was him why hadn't he told me he would be too. I laced my fingers with his and tried to spin round but realised I couldn't half way and so dropped his hands. "Hey there little miss" he said softly I smiled and hugged him tightly before planting a kiss on his lips.

"Hey Rand" I replied then let him go. "I would ask how you are but you just took all my free drinks off me, scared away a potential hottie, and you never told me you were going to be here" I paused "I think you have a lot of explaining to do" I placed my hands on my hips and flicked my hair back trying my best to look angry.

"Well first things first sweet cheeks" I hid a smirk; he was turning on the charm already "Let me get a look at you" He held my arm up and span me round. "You're looking extra good tonight" he knew how to soften me, I stopped myself from smiling. "Too good" he frowned slightly and tugged at my denim skirt until it covered more of my thighs then pulled my almost backless (you know the kind with the string across the shoulders?) top up until it was nearly up to my neck. "There, now no-one can see" he nodded and smirked as I put it back where it was.

"You still haven't answered my questions" I pointed out once I was sufficiently adjusted, I tried not to notice what I thought was a hint of jealousy in his eyes. He was normally all 'doll yourself up and have a good time' but tonight he wasn't. Hm. I'll leave that for later.

"Well you don't need anyone to buy drinks and look hot when I'm here" he shrugged and led me over to the bar.

"That's 'cause I do the looking hot side of things" a voice said from behind Randy

"Johnny" I squealed and pushed past Randy and jumped on John.

"Strange how you get a better reception off my girlfriend that I do" Randy said overly loud, I pulled away from John and leaned against Randy's leg where he was sat on a bar stool.

"You can have yours later" I whispered into his ear and I immediately felt his hands on my hips. I grinned and winked at him as his smile went from ear to ear.

Poor thing, if he's been a good boy, and he better had of been or there would be hell to pay, he hasn't been laid in almost three months what with conflicting work schedules and the such. I'd just finished a big project at work which had kept me busy for the last God knows how long and now gave me three months of nothing to do. Whereas he spent most of his time travelling for his job.

"So anyway back to my question that you didn't answer. How come you're in L.A?" I asked

"Can't a guy surprise the Mrs?" he replied

"Not when it involves you and John together in a city such as this" I answered

"Okay, it's work related just some build-up for Summerslam" I nodded "but I did volunteer for it since I knew you would be here" he smiled "Now what would you like to drink?"

"Double Malibu and Coke" I replied, John let out a low whistle.

"You're definitely getting some tonight" he said I raised an eyebrow "What?" he protested "last time you hit the Malibu you guys weren't the only ones who got no sleep" he frowned as Randy smirked and I felt my cheeks go a bright red colour.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and span round to see Laurie and Ali my two girlfriends who I'd come with, "I see loverboy found you then" Ali said whilst eyeing up John I nodded. Did they know about this? If they did they did a bloody good job of keeping it quiet.

"Well we'll leave you two alone for a while, dance ladies?" John held out his hands and Ali and Laurie thought their Christmas' had all come at once, although I'm pretty sure they'd met John before.

"I like your shoes" I was snapped back into reality by Randy's breath close to my ear and him placing a drink in front of me. I glanced down at my leopard print dolly shoes and smiled.

"Thank you baby" I slung my arms around his neck. "So did you miss me?"

"More than you know" he replied. Sure we'd talked on the phone and had coffee a few times but nothing more. It's not the same as knowing you have all the time in the world with someone.

"How sweet" I took a sip of my drink and smiled at him.

"Why did you..?" I cut him off with a kiss

"So you didn't?" I rolled my eyes and pulled away slightly "I'm joking" he replied and smiled pulling me to him again. "Have you eaten tonight?" he asked becoming serious for a minute, I shook my head

"Not since late this afternoon, why?" I couldn't resist asking, I'm too curious for my own good.

"Because how about me and you go grab some take-out and a few bottles of something and head back to my hotel and chill out?" I thought about it. Romantic night with the ball and chain or a night of partying. Well since I hadn't seen him in too long I had to agree with the former plus we could party another night. I nodded, I downed my drink in one and dragged him to find my girls and John. It wasn't hard to find them- John isn't a small guy and he was the only big-ish thug who had two girls with him. We finally got their attention and told them what we were doing. They all nodded and John gave a knowing smile as I glared at him. I only stopped when Randy pulled me towards the exit I followed him obediently. He stopped when we got outside

"What's up?" I questioned, he looked at me for what seemed like an eternity.

"Nothing, absolutely nothing" he grinned.

"I'm not buying it Orton, spill" I glared at him through narrowed eyes and he laughed.

"I'm just looking at how beautiful you look with your hair like that" so he'd noticed the slight change of style then, all I'd done was change the parting to a slight side one, I raised an eyebrow "not that you don't look beautiful all the time" he added hurriedly "well except that time you got food poisoning that shit was harsh" I hit him in the arm and he pulled me close. "Well you did look better than most people with food poisoning and if I didn't think you'd throw up on me then you'd have got it" he smirked that infamous smirk as I glared a bit more.

"You're talking about taking advantage of me in one of my more vulnerable states, now that's harsh" I nodded.

"So? And what's with all the glaring?" he questioned

"You're talking about wanting to fuck me whilst I'm sick. That's just…sick!" he shrugged.

"What can I say? You do these things to me and I just can't help myself"

"Someone hasn't been getting any"

"You don't say?" he replied, his voice laced with sarcasm.

"Well you better not have been cause boy if you have your ass is getting knocked out" I pulled away slightly. He rolled his eyes

"Would I do such a thing to you baby?" he asked and kissed me softly, after all this time it still made my knees weak

"You better not, I have brothers y'know" I nodded. Damn this boy and his charming ways. He kissed me again by way of a reply. I swear we sometimes fight for the making-up part.

"Now can we get a cab we have a lot of catching up to do if you know what I mean?" he winked.

"Cheese, utter cheese" I mumbled. I pulled out a packet of cigarettes from my bag and sparked one up. I felt his arms instantly drop from around me. I tenses waiting for the lecture. See I had quit but what with being home alone added to the stress of work then it'd felt so much easier to go back to my old habit.

"I thought you'd stopped all that" I turned to face him.

"I had" I replied, here we go with the fighting again only this time it wasn't going to be a fun one. I took an almost defiant drag of the cigarette and glared at him once more.

"It's stupid. You know I don't like you smoking" he sighed, I wanted to melt there and then and tell him that I'd quit there and then if it would make him happy, but like most English people give me a few drinks and I'm convinced that I'm in the right.

"I was stressed and in case you hadn't heard sunshine it's addictive" I replied as though that was a good enough explanation for anyone.

"Well don't think you're kissing me tonight" I took another drag as his face hardened into a glare that matched my own.

"Well I'll just go back inside then should I?" I waited for a response and got none. "In fact that's exactly what I'm going to do, and I think I'll go and find Al or whatever his name was cause he sure as hell didn't seem to mind me smoking" I span on my heel and headed back into the crowded bar and almost instantly banged into John who saved the drinks he was carrying from spilling by a millisecond.

"I thought you guys were leaving?" he asked confusion etched into his face.

"We were but your pig-headed best friend is being a dick and so I've come back inside" I said

"And why may I ask is Randall being a dick?" he questioned

"Because" I started

"She started smoking again" Randy finished for me John nodded slightly.

"You really shouldn't do that shorty" he said

"One; I'm not that short, and two; I'll do whatever the fuck I like" I heard Randy sigh behind me as I walked off towards the bar.

"Dude just leave her be, she's not going to listen tonight" John told Randy as I left. He nodded to show his acknowledgement.

"I know but I thought she'd stopped it and she knows my thoughts on her doing it" he let out another sigh.

"Hey there sweetheart" I looked to my left to see Al who had gotten seemingly drunker since I last saw him and by the look in his eyes had taken some form of drug too. Great; just what I needed. "Your boyfriend gone then?" he asked.

"No he's stood right over there" I said throwing my head in the direction of the door.

"That's far away enough for me" he murmured and stepped closer, I rolled my eyes and lifted my knee getting a perfect shot in the family jewels.

"And your too close for me" I replied as I grabbed my drink and went to find my girls. I found them holed up in a corner with John and the dick…I mean Randy. The tension was almost unbearable and we both sat I silence unless spoken to when our answers remained monosyllabic and quiet. It was even worse when the others left to dance, I didn't blame them I wouldn't have sat with us given the choice. The night ended after what felt like forever and the funny thing is I hadn't lit up another cigarette. When the realisation hit me I looked Randy in the eye and sparked up. I waited until he looked away before I started to gag. So now they make me feel sick. Just great.


	2. Chapter 2

Could this night get any worse? I asked myself as the club started to close. I stood up and grabbed my bag and started to head outside when I banged into Al. Well I think he was more looking for me. "I'm willing to overlook that stunt you pulled before dollface we're in for an exciting night" he leered at me, why is it that the nice-looking ones are twats? I felt a familiar arm around my shoulders and the voice that went with it had a threatening edge.

"I suggest you leave her alone" why is it that when we fall out he always rescues me? Bastard.

"Or?" Al dude get a fucking clue you wouldn't stand a chance.

"Or I'd be kicked your ass from here to the gutter you're from" Randy leered and Al suddenly high-tailed it out of the joint. "We need to talk, you're coming with me" he said simply his voice softening but only slightly. With the effects of the night's alcohol intake wearing off and my head becoming clear added to the lead weight in my stomach I knew he was right. I allowed myself to be led outside and into what I presumed was his rental car. I slid into the passenger seat as he flicked the radio on. The ride was silent and almost painful.

His hand on my lower back was uncomforting as he guided me into hotel and towards the elevator. We stood on opposite sides in silence like strangers and then resumed him guiding me towards his room. I sat on the bed as we entered I felt like I was back in high school and I was awaiting one of the lectures the principal seemed to love giving me. "I'm going for a shower" he said quietly and headed into what I presumed was the bathroom. I nodded and watched his back as he left. I reached into my bag and pulled out the packet of Marlboro's. Strange how these things can cause so much trouble. I stood up and headed towards the balcony, pulling open the sliding door to reveal a spectacular view over the city. I leaned against the rail and opened the packet and pulled one out breaking it in half and letting the pieces fall to the ground below me as a tear rolled down my cheek. Why do I do this to myself? Why did I do this to him? I knew how much he loved me and how much I loved him, why jeopardise our relationship on something so stupid. I knew how he'd react and I'd done fine without them in the past why go back to it now? I felt someone behind me as I slowly let the last two halves of the last cigarette fly in the breeze before letting the packet follow. I felt his arms around my waist and his breath on my neck as I reached into my pocket for a piece of gum.

"I'm proud" he whispered softly.

"I am too" I replied in the same tone.

"I was just about to say it's your choice but you know my feelings" his arms tightened round me, they'd lost the cold uncomforting touch from before and were back to being the same arms I felt at home in.

"There's no need now." I turned round so I was facing him "I'm sorry for hurting you" I murmured

"I'm sorry for being a dick" his eyes twinkled, so he'd heard me say that then?

"I'm sorry for calling you a dick" I let my hands rest of his hips "I love you" I said my face buried in his chest.

"I love you too" his lips brushed the top of my head. "Now I suggest that you phone Ali and Laurie because you're staying with me tonight, it's been too long since I've simply held you all night" he smiled softly before kissing me. I pulled away from him and headed inside to retrieve my phone flipping it open and dialling Laurie's number.

"Hey you and Randykins made up then?" she asked, I laughed at her use of 'Randykins', think I might start using that one.

"Yes Randykins and I have made up and I'm staying here so I shall see you tomorrow kay?"

"Good shit, Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Bye sweetie"

"Bye" I flipped it shut and turned round to see Randy looking amused.

"Randykins?" he asked.

"Laurie" I explained, he nodded.

"Okay" he rooted around in his band before throwing me an RKO shirt. Cheap ass he got that stuff for free. I pulled my shirt off and slipped his on as I saw a pair of boxers land by my feet, I grinned at him as he pulled his clothes off leaving them in a heap on the floor. I let my skirt fall to the floor before I let my underwear slide too quickly replacing them with the boxers. I unhooked my bra pulling it out of the sleeve whilst he looked on amazed.

"Sorry I still don't understand how you do that fucking quick" he shook his head as I headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Thank fuck for free toothbrushes that's all I'm saying. I wandered back out to find him curled up in bed. "Hurry up I'm lonely" he whined.

"One minute" I replied smiling at his childishness as I folded his clothes, laying them in a chair followed by my own before crawling into bed next to him. He flicked the lights off and wrapped his arms around me. "Randy?" I asked after a few minutes.

"Yessum?"

"Can we not fight again? I don't like it much" I stated

"Me neither. Let's not" he replied planting a kiss on my neck. I smiled softly

"Good" I sighed and relaxed into his arms letting sleep take me.


	3. Chapter 3

This is possibly the worst chapter I've written in a while so you'll have to excuse me.

NB: I don't hate fans, fuck I am one.

Review please.

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The next morning I woke up to find an empty space next to me. Must have been a dream I though groggily. No, hang on there just a minute. Where the fuck was I? I looked round and recognised it as Randy's room from my dream. Which meant it wasn't actually a dream then, yay!

I glanced around again and looked for a cue as to where he was. I saw a note on the bedside cabinet, stretching so I didn't have to lose my warm spot, I grabbed it and read.

'Hey, gone to the gym. Laurie came by to drop off some clothes for you. She said something about they're going to beach as well. I won't be long. R x'

I smiled to myself. Bless him leaving a note. Well if he's at the gym I better go grab a shower before he comes back and spends an hour in there and makes it all steamy and manly smelling so I can't get in there. Yeah, I know that that's a bit over the top but you know what I mean, there's nothing worse than going into a steamy bathroom cause you cant see in the mirror, everything's all wet and its just one of those…

I slid out of the huge bed and shuffled into the bathroom and turned on the shower so that it was as hot as I could stand it. It was only a matter of a few minutes before someone shouted my name. "Kerry?" I heard the door open. "Anyone seen my beautiful, sweet, adorable girlfriend?" he questioned to no-one, guess who.

"Don't know" I said poking my head out of the shower, might as well play along here, it could be fun, "What does she look like?"

"Oh about this big" he raised his hand to his chest, "amazing brown eyes, great body and a smile that lights up the room." I blushed

"I think she went that way" I pointed back into the shower. He nodded then grinned before pulling off his clothes and sliding into the shower next to me.

"Found her" he shouted, pushing me against the cold tiles and kissing my neck. I shuddered involuntarily. "Morning" he said, his voice muffled but I caught its husky edge.

"Morning, nice workout?" I asked him, he looked up his face inches away from mine.

"It was ok not as good as the one I'm going to get now though" he grinned

"Oh really?" my thoughts were interrupted by John, how the hell did he get into our room?

"Randy?" he called out

"I'm in the shower" he replied, I glared "what I either tell him or he looks"

"Where's your Mrs?"

"She's in the shower" I suppressed a giggle by clamping my mouth on his shoulder, Randy moaned quietly.

"Kids you ain't got time for that. We have to be ready to go in like 15 minutes" John sounded flustered.

"We have got time" Randy replied, needless to say what followed was the quickest sex ever. We both tumbled out of the shower and grabbed a towel. "How long we got John?" Randy asked a smirk on his face.

"10 minutes" John mumbled.

"Thought so" Randy pulled on a pair of jeans and shirt and gelled his hair. "Baby, hurry it up, you're coming with us" I shrugged and pulled on the jeans that Laurie had left with the black vintage tee and my timberlands. I left my hair down after towelling it until it was almost dry and sat a panama on my head.

"Ready?" John asked rolling his eyes. We nodded and Randy grasped hold of my hand. "Let's go then" he opened the door and I jumped onto Randy's back as he raced to the elevator. "It's alright guys, I'll close the door, wouldn't want anyone to rob you now."

"Cheers Johnny" I called out as he caught up with us. "Do I need make-up?" I asked them both.

"You look beautiful as you are" Randy offered pulling me close once we were in the elevator.

"You're supposed to say that" I shook my head and looked towards John who looked doubtful.

"It'd bring out your eyes" he said finally. I used the mirrored walls to quickly apply some eye make-up and lip gloss.

"There," I nodded to myself "Where are we going?"

"We're doing a signing." Randy replied

"Fun for all the family" John remarked, rolling his eyes.

"Someone's cranky" I said with a grin

"Am not"

"Are so"

"I didn't get laid"

"It was only brief"

"Good" I stuck my tongue out

"Least it was something" I muttered causing John to glare.

"Due how can **you** not get laid?" Randy asked, he looked like someone had told him the sky was green and the clouds were sheep.

"Easy, they don't like my jokes"

"If I was single and out one night, and you told me a joke, I'd do you" I offered.

"Cheers Kezzil" I grinned and shrugged slightly, whilst Randy chose that moment to hold my hand and pull me decidedly closer than I was.

The ride to wherever we were going didn't take that long which was good, on the other hand the time John and Randy spent at the signing I was spending chilling on my own somewhere. Great.

"Baby, here, go and treat yourself" Randy handed me his credit card. I raised and eyebrow and grinned. I wandered off to the nearest shopping type place and spent the next hour spending. No I didn't just spend his money, Randy bought a me a dress. I bought the rest. I'm not that mean. I bought myself a few new pairs of jeans and some cute tops. It was I was browsing through a book store the he called. "Hey, you on your way back?"

"No but I can be, Why?"

"Can you grab us some fast food of some kind?" I hurried out and grabbed some MacDonald's before speed walking back to where they were. I wandered past the line of fans.

"Where are you going?" some girls asked, glaring at me. Could their skirts be any shorter?

"To give my boyfriend his lunch" I told them nicely.

"Likely story" one of them nodded, I raised an eyebrow.

"If you're telling the truth which one is it?"

"Randy" I replied, why the hell was I proving this to these girls. Man I hate girls like this. I mean I love his fans but its not that hard to accept the kid ain't single, I'm more likely to be nice and get him to come out and say hi if you're nice to me.

"What's his middle name?" are you being stupid? I sighed and answered:

"Keith"

"The last time he had sex?" and how were they gonna know this?

"This morning" I said, they looked shocked but all seemed to relax a bit, except one

"You're lying" she said

"Fine" I wasn't going to argue with her. I felt my phone ring right on cue.

"Hello?" I heard him say.

"Hey" I replied turning away slightly.

"What are you doing?"

"Arguing, these people don't believe I'm your girlfriend and consequently won't even let me try and get in" I shrugged slightly.

"Ok, I'll be there in a minute, meanwhile talk to John"

"Kezzil Bezzil, I'm hungry" John whined

"John shut up" I mumbled

"Nah, but turn round and look at the window up top" I did as I was told and I couldn't help but laugh, causing everyone else to follow my gaze. John was ghetto dancing like a complete twat. Bless him. He stopped when he realised everyone was watching him and waved before disappearing. I felt my hand being tugged at by a familiar grip.

"Randy!" bitchy girl said, Randy nodded in her general direction

"Talk to her" I muttered

"What's up?" he asked cockily.

"When was the last time you got any?" I felt him tense up then smirk

"Any what? Sex? This morning" he grinned when he saw her face "Gotta go, John's getting hungry" he closed the door and made sure to kiss my head and squeeze my ass. "That was weird" he muttered

"You don't say? Why do you have the few horrible bitch fans" I pondered.

"Cause I'm that sexy?" he offered I rolled my eyes and punched him lightly as he pouted and pretended to be hurt. Dork.

"Food" John ran down the corridor like he hadn't been fed in about a year. I handed him his bag and ran back and sat down. Bless. Randy pulled me onto a sofa next to him. I looked round and figured we were in the staff room. It had that feel to it. In no time the two of them had wolfed down their food. I instantly had Randy's arms wrapped around me. I leaned into him and rested my hand on his thigh.

"You're being extremely nice today, what's wrong?" he laughed.

"Are you trying to insinuate that I'm not normally nice to you?" I shook my head.

"No, but you're being extra nice. I was wondering, what have you done?"

"Nothing, I just missed you" I smiled.

"I'll let you off at that Orton"

"Thanks, you going to be OK here whilst we go do what we gotta do?" I nodded and drew circles on his leg.

"Yup, you bought me a book" I told him.

"And what else?"

"A dress, the rest I bought myself" he nodded

"I'm glad you look after my money" he kissed the side of my head then bit my ear. I giggled and pulled away slightly.

"Rand, not here" I muttered and handed him back his credit card. He slid it into his pocket.

"Guys are you ready?" a manager type person asked. Randy kissed me and stood up to follow him. John decided to hug me by literally diving on me.


End file.
